Tea and Such

Sticking to it!

2012-01-30T07:00:00.005-06:00

That's my ~~story~~ budget and I'm sticking to it.

I came up with a post-CC budget and talked it over with my financial planner (FP). Being the awesome person that he is, he asked questions about what my goals and aspirations were, then made suggestions for what I should do with my money to reach those goals.

Here's what we decided:

What I'm doing: From this post I'm doing A, G, 4, 2 and C... in that order. (E and 6 have nothing to do with my life right now. LOL!)

How I'm doing it:

A: About 2/3 of the CC loot will be automatically deposited into a long-term savings account for my "emergency fund" (EF). It'll probably take the full year to save up 6-8 months of "living expenses." So 2012 is all about the EF. Once that money is in place, it shall not be touched. (P.S. I already put my entire tax refund into my EF. Yes, I got my return back already. Yes, I'm still disciplined. Who's proud of me?)

G: About 1/3 of the CC loot will be automatically deposited into short-term saving and used at leisure for... trips on trips on trips.

4: In August, I am moving out of the cracker jack box that I now call home. It has absolutely served it's purpose in saving me money. Now I will aim to live AT my means instead of grossly below them. I can't wait to decorate, entertain and most of all enjoy coming home.

2: This is a long-term goal. [Unknown asked if I had federal or private student loans. Girl, both! *assuming you're female.] That hoe Sallie Mae is really sticking it to me, but since 2012 is the year of the EF, I've decided that paying students loans off will have to be a longer term priority.

C: Once I have six months of living expenses saved from A (see above), I'll parlay A (2/3 of the CC loot) into mid-term savings for a down payment on somebody's property somewhere. This will likely be 2013[and beyond]'s goal. A key takeaway from my financial planner is that I should focus on purchasing if I know I want to be somewhere for another 5,7, 10 years. That's not my life right now, so I'll put the money away slowly, but I plan on renting for a while.

I'm also more than likely going to stop the quarterly money updates on the blog. They were a tool for me to keep track of what I had to sacrifice to meet my goal (of paying CC down). I don't have any reason to sacrifice or to note my sacrifices now. I will be responsible, yes, but I shan't sacrifice unless I have to. It's time to live it up.

Not to worry. I'll keep you posted on whether or not I'm meeting my EF goals. You all will still keep me accountable for doing what I said I was going to do.

I now need about four weeks of good blog topics. What do y'all want to discuss (besides the election, because you know I'll have posts coming up on THAT!)?

Bulldog BootCamp

2012-01-27T07:00:00.002-06:00

My blog needs a makeover. Like if I didn't know me, I wouldn't click here twice. Whatever, who has the time? I certainly don't have the money. Hopefully you're getting this in a reader, so you're seeing it in some better format. Probably not. I'm sorry y'all. Anywho, a fitness update.

#30for30 went well. My metabolism was on 10 the entire time and Yes, I did exercise on Christmas day at my mom's house. It was miserable, but I did it. And my food tasted better because of it. AND I didn't gain any weight because again, my metabolism was on 10.

We're doing bootcamp at work. It's 8 weeks and today marks the end of the 3rd week. The goal is to get 5 stickers a week for a chance to win prizes.
One workout equals one sticker.
If I do the group fitness classes, I get two stickers.
If I do the nutrition classes, I get two stickers.
(UPDATE: Week 1 = 5 stickers, Week 2 = 1 sticker, This Week = 3 stickers so far...)

So I can essentially workout twice and go to one class and still get 5 stickers. I'll do that on my bare minimum weeks. Other than that, I plan to work out 3x a week for 8 weeks and hopefully keep that going well past the challenge.

How's your workout plan going? Have you abandoned your fitness resolutions and goals for 2012 yet?

Also, randomly I found another good workout site: Body Rock. #BeOnThat

Tea's Wintertime Dating Survival Guide

2012-01-26T07:00:00.004-06:00

These all came out of a fail on my part to be wintertime sexy on dates. Really I'm just giving you all advice and putting it on the blog to serve as a reminder to myself.

Fly Socks - So a lot of people don't let you wear shoes in their house. OR it's wintertime and you can't really wear shoes in their house. OR you'd like to get a little bit snuggly and you can't really do that with shoes on. Either way, once you kick off those boots instead of the fly pedicure you MUST sport in the summer - dope socks are required. I got caught wearing some pretty basic socks and rectified this before it was too late.

Flat, cute boots - So he wants to take a winter stroll through the park. That's cool, but I only have super high heeled booted or midheeled boots that don't really work in snow or extreme cold. I mean, I freaked the look, but I should have had some riding boots for this very occasion. Don't be like me. Buy flat, warm, cute boots.

Sexy sweaters - All of my sweaters look like I'm getting ready to snuggle up by the fire at my grandma's house deep in the country, not like a chilly city girl on a date. I need some cute off the shoulder joints or an empire waist or a tunic I can wear with leggings or something, so I can look hot and sexy even though I'm cold and snuggly.

Cute winter headgear - My big hair is a big problem. I either have to wear earmuffs, or a headband that doesn't match my gloves or no head gear at all. If you have small hair, good for you. If not, send me some etsy designs or for cute, warm headgear. I'm out here losing trying to act like I'm warm when I know my ears are freezing.

An open mind - He wants to go iceskating... I say *expletive* do you know it's 2 degrees outside? GTFOHWT-ICECOLD-BS Don't be me, reconsider ice-skating, skiing, snowboarding, any of the cute cold stuff he wants to do. Winter is no reason to be stuck in the house dateless right? Right.

What other winter dating tips do you have?

Another Wedding!!!

2012-01-25T07:00:00.000-06:00

I don't have any coordinator gigs lined up for 2012. Sad face. This may be turning into more of a hobby than a side gig. A friend of mine and I decided that we were too close for me to do her wedding. She wants me to be a full-time guest in 2012. #LoveHer and I have an inquiry about 2013. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Here are pics from a wedding I did in August. Enjoy!

Below: The bride was stunning!!! This was in the back room at Trinity as we waiting for the service to start. I experienced a tender moment when her dad saw her for the first time. THESE are the moments that make my job SO worth it. That and sleepy flower girls. I can't describe the joy I get from doing this. #LoveIt

Below: There were no pictures allowed in the sanctuary at Trinity, so it's straight to the reception. This photo shoot should have been on the cover of "black and bougie". I ABSOLUTELY loved it! I also had to get on my duty and play with the kids while the adults were snappin' pics. I do it all. Anything to make the bride happy. :-)

Below: This picture is blurry, which should FURTHER indicate how it was going down on the dance floor. I love this couple and their reception. So much love and so much fun!

Obsessed with Hair

2012-01-24T07:00:00.004-06:00

Americans are obsessed with hair. Everyday when I open up my e-mail the first news story has to do with how a celebrity did something different with their hair.

Kim. K - She cut bangs... why the big deal?
Jennifer Anniston - So she lost a couple of inches... her hair looks EXACTLY the same.
Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez - I could just stop the post right here. Seriously?
Olivia Wilde - This was actually worth noting, she looks totally different.

If we're talking Rhianna red or Katy Perry Pink, I think that deserves a story, but these bang and bob stories have GOT to stop.

I'm guilty of it too because hair is the first thing I notice about people. I don't put any press releases out when people cut and color, but I do mention it.

So I got my hair straightened for NYE. I really just got it done so that I could get my ends clipped, so that my natural hair styles would look better. But there's a funny little side effect of straightening your hair. People are treating me SO much better. It's a crazy phenomenon. People walk past my office smiling, everyone has stopped in to say my hair is beautiful or gorgeous or amazing. No one is using words like good or nice, with the click of a flat iron, my hair has graduated to amazing.

I love the attention. I do, I do, I do, but I hope when my hair is fluffed out next week in a two-strand twist that people don't ask dumb things like "what happened to your hair" or say "oh, I like it better straight." Let me just mentally prepare myself (and my key messages) for that type of rude commentary. I know it's on the way.

Oh, I guess you guys want to see my hair straight huh? It WAS pretty fly. Here you go.

So... what now?

2012-01-23T07:00:00.005-06:00

Can I be honest with y'all. I don't feel as good about having paid off my credit card debt as I thought I would have. You know how brides say they have this sadness after the wedding is over, because they don't have something to be thinking about all the time? I feel like paying off credit card debt was my wedding and I don't have anything to obsess over anymore. It's very strange, but it's real, so I'm sharing it.

That emptiness has nothing to do with today's post though so...

I have this dumb amount of money that I've been using to pay down my credit cards and now I need to parlay it elsewhere. Here are my options:

A. Start an Emergency Fund - I've heard everything from $1,000 to 3-5 months pay to 6-8 months of living expenses. Either way I have ZERO dollars saved.

2. Pay off my student loans - If I use the payments I've been making to credit cards to pay down student loans, I could possibly have that debt paid in less than two years.

C. Save for a down payment/closing costs on a home/condo/whatever

4. Move to a nicer apartment

E. BALL OUT - Oh yes, I could make it rain at clubs and take trips and have weekly (not monthly, weekly) trips to the spa. It could go down. (I'm not really going to do this, but thought that I would note that it's an option. LOL!)

6. Invest - In real life, am I ready for that? It's so scary.

G. Start a vacation fund - I'm going to travel ANYWAY - might as well have a cash fund for it.

So what say ye, good readers of Tea & Such? Did I miss any options? Where should I put my spoils?

Missing Tweets

2012-01-20T07:00:00.006-06:00

I've been on a Twitter, Facebook and TV fast all this week. I cannot wait to catch up on all teh Housewives, Love and Hip Hop and the Game. I've missed everyone's banter on Twitter, but I've been more productive and work and in life without those distractions. For those of you who missed me (and really for my personal sanity), here are things I wanted to Tweet and couldn't. They're likely just as mundane as they would have been on Twitter. Enjoy.

No one person should want this much cornbread.

I'm still in love, but I think cupcakes have jumped the shark.

Two co-workers told me I look slim today. I don't know if it's #30for30 or this $150 jeans, but I'll take it.

#ThatAwkwardMoment when you bill your time to the wrong week & have to start over. #BML

Thyme is my new favorite season. What? I'm late? Oh, ok then.

I really want to create a Pinterest board called "Naw Joe" and just repin ****ery. I'll abstain though.

I ain't got no man yet, but this right here's for practice #InTheKitchenTweet (Side note: I probably would have typed this, then erased it before I Tweeted it)

#WIMH Work and Can't Get Enough [clearly] - J. Cole

I just signed up to Rock the Red Pump for the 4th time! Woot Woot! @redpumpproj

R.I.P. Etta James

Do You Pinterest?

2012-01-19T07:00:00.002-06:00

I know in terms of paving the way, I'm probably extra late, but someone put me up on Pinterest and I absolutely love it. It's like it was especially made for me. It's the ultimate time waster that includes all things pretty.

Not much more to say about it than that. Do you Pinterest?

Christian Social Scene

2012-01-18T07:00:00.001-06:00

So Fellowship [Missionary Baptist Church] had a comedy show with Marcus Wiley (a homie of mine from back in the day) and then they had an afterparty that had food catered, mocktails and a DJ playin' real music. We Christian kicked it!

Can I be honest with y'all though? That DJ took it just a little too far for my Baptist soul. He played she got a donk. I just sat down because I couldn't think of any Christian dances to do to that song. Oh, I could dance to that song, but not in a church setting. That's just not right.

I digress.

So the party was awesome and that same night my church, New Life Covenant, had a skate jam at the Rink. I got to thinking about all of the churches in Chicago and how we could hit the Christian social circuit and STILL be out every weekend. We wouldn't be hungover in the morning, our feet wouldn't hurt, we would get home at a decent hour, (I know I'm not the only one who has laundry and errands and cooking to do on Saturday. I need my rest.) AND best of all, we'd meet new people.

So to kick off Christian kickin' it, here's ~~a list of some social happenings~~ the one social happening I heard about with the young adult or singles ministries at ~~some popular churches.~~ my church. Can you all send me lists of what's poppin' at your church too? Let me put a disclaimer out though - I'm looking for church SOCIAL events. I already know where to worship. AND if you know there are no people under 40 or men at your church, don't send me off talmbout I should visit (so you can have company). That's not right. LOL!

New Life Covenant - February 10th - Singles Ministry Scholarship Gala at the Hyatt Regency featuring Kindred and the Family Soul

Fellowship - What do you all have crackin'?

Trinity - What do you all have crackin'?

Apostolic Faith Church (AFC) - Lauren told me about a consecration day or something... I'm going to pass on that and wait for the bowling party/skate Jam/night out at Grand Luxe, etc.

Goodbye Bar, Goodbye Club

2012-01-17T11:01:00.002-06:00

In 2009, it was said in this post: "I like to party [at the club]. It's been said and I'll continue to say it until one day I, magically, don't like to party anymore." That day, my friends, has arrived. A couple of day ago in THIS post I mentioned that I skipped Friday nights at the club and because I didn't have any money AND I didn't really want to go.

It has officially happened. I'm over the bar and club scene. Over.It. I can't get over hangovers fast enough, my feet hurt for three days after the fact, besides my friends, there's really no one at the club I want to see or meet and I'm so over the pretentious nature of standing in line or being held outside while very pretty people can go in (Thanks JBar).

So I'm not saying you'll never see me at another bar or club again, I'm just saying your birthday isn't always going to be a relevant enough reason to make me go. Like 8.5 out of 10 times, iaintgonebeabletodoit. If you really want to celebrate with me and your birthday party's at the club, I'll just take you to brunch later. If I get the itch to club again, I'll go. But if not, don't sweat me about not seeing me out.

Side note: Why are people who don't even know how to pronounce or spell my first name ALWAYS so concerned with why they haven't seen me at the club/on the scene. You haven't seen me because we're not friends. *Staples button* That was easy.

More on this tomorrow...

Why You Mad?

2012-01-16T07:00:00.003-06:00

Bring it in folks. It's group hug time.

On January 6th, Beyonce and Jay-Z welcomed Blue Ivy Carter into the world. Man, I was geeked. Excited. Ecstatic. Overjoyed.

THEN Jay-Z dropped a tracked about Blue. Man, I was touched. Happy. Humbled by how acts of God happen daily. Just over the moon.

THEN I see people hating on the name Blue Ivy.

THEN I see this on Yahoo's homepage calling Beyonce's birth demands over the top. I also saw this story saying that the $1.3 million is not true.

Finally, my Facebook timeline starts poppin' with people that I know in real life, who's company i enjoy talking about how mad they are that everyone is so happy for Beyonce and Jay-Z. They think we should talk about #realissues and/or talk about people we know in real life. (These are dumb reasons for being mad. Although Facebook and Twitter can be outlets for the revolution, in general that's not how we use them.)

So to all those people that are literally angry that the rest of us are happy, I'd just like to know Why You Mad? Your anger is clearly deeper than Jay-Z, which means it's deeper than rap. You just woke up mad and decided the rest of us being happy was too much.

Just two weeks ago your were talking about how the world is a great place because you were on vacation from work and getting ready to celebrate the birth of Jesus. I know you're not a Christian and THIS ANGRY at us being happy. I know God didn't call you to be that angry because this little baby is so LOVED. This I know.

I'm not mad at you. I want to hug you. Group hug you. )))))))))))group hugs(((((((((( Sprinkle happy dust on you or something.

My grandma called. She said if you don't have anything nice to say [about Beyonce and Jay-Z's new bundle of joy] then don't say anything at all. :-)

It is done.

2012-01-13T01:42:00.000-06:00

I paid of credit card 6 of 6 today. Today, I am completely credit card debt free. My credit card balances are ZERO DOLLARS! I can't explain this feeling. It's happiness and joy and accomplishment. It's the fulfillment of what years ago just seemed like a dream.

I've never shared HOW much credit card debt I had before because it's embarrassing, but it doesn't have a hold over me anymore, so I'm going to share it.

When I started this journey to really pay off my credit cards in May of 2008, I had 6 credit cards and more than $16,000 in credit card debt. When you factor in the fact that I JUST stopped using those bad boys in 2011, I'm pretty sure over the last 3 years and 8 months, I've paid more than $25,000 in credit card debt. Stop. Think about it.

I digress.

When I started this journey I barely made enough money to pay my rent AND eat three meals a day. The task was overwhelming to say the least. It seemed impossible, but with God's help, an open mind, trial and error, a healthy dose of discipline and regular pay increases, here I stand credit card debt free and I'm beyond ecstatic about it.

I just want to encourage anyone who's in credit card debt now: You CAN stop using (and sometimes abusing) your credit cards. You CAN pay your credit cards down. You CAN live off of cash only. You CAN have a fabulous credit score (and a fabulous life at the same time). You CAN be free of the guilt and shame that comes with credit card debt. You can do it!!! Just by reading this blog, you've believed in me all these months... well, years. And this time around, I believe in you.

Happy Friday!!! No, I'm not going out tonight and and no, you cannot borrow a dollar!

Q4 2011 Update: December

2012-01-12T07:00:00.001-06:00

In December I skipped:

3. Friday nights at the club (This was mostly due to money, but also due to an attitude change. I just didn't think it would be any fun. And rather than scrape up a couple of dollars to get cute, drink and cab home, I figured my free couch was a better - and warmer - look.)

4. Buying a new purse. I'm sure this has come up all year. I carried a laptop bag that was literally holding on by a string to work and on the weekends I carried this free bag I got from H&M's grand opening in Chicago. (Don't front like you don't still use that bag). I do not feel very much like a diva carrying these makeshift handbags, but this is the sacrifice I had to make. UPDATE: This paid off because I got a Macy's gift card for Christmas and I ran RIGHT to the handbag section and bought something I can afford. It's pretty darn cute if I do say so myself.

5. Shopping, man I didn't go to the club, but I did kick it. Holiday parties, HOUSE PAR-TAYS and NYE... I.didn't.buy.anything. Let me tell you about this genius plan I had though: I went shopping in Big T's closet. She has so many clothes. A dress here, a cardigan there and a couple of accessories really made me feel like I extended my wardrobe.

6. On December 21st at 5 p.m. The Limited put all of their holiday stuff on sale for 50% off until midnight. 7 hours of online sales and despite all the girls at the gig buzzing about it, I bought nothing AND I WANTED TO BUY SO MUCH. Man, if that's not discipline, I don't know what is. *sigh*

My unexpected expenditures were:
f. Cabs - I don't know what's going on, but I'm about tired of waiting on the bus stop and when I'm ready to be somewhere quickly, a cab it is. In the course of a week in December I took like 10 cabs, who [on a budget] does that?

Side note: For the first time in a long time, I really want a car. I'm not buying a car though. It's a depreciating liability and besides getting somewhere 5 minutes quicker, the cost benefit analysis doesn't justify the purchase for me right now. Stay tuned [into my life] though. I'll give it a year, maybe two before I break down and get one. The bus (or a cab) is just not the groove some days.

g. I went over my Christmas cash budget by about $100 and charged a gift or two. I vowed to pay it back within 30 days though to prevent finance charges. Who thinks I did that?

Q4 2011 Update: November

2012-01-11T07:00:00.001-06:00

In November I skipped:

2. Monday Night Football - Bears vs. Eagles *sigh*

My unexpected expenditures were:

e. Magazine subscription

f. Zipcar(s). Even though I don't have a car, I probably need a line item in my budget for transportation budget. No way getting around should always be a financed expense. (Or I could vow to pay it off by the end of the month I incur the expense... I have to think about this)

Q4 2011 Update: October

2012-01-10T07:00:00.001-06:00

In October I skipped:

1. Dinner club with the ladies

In October my unexpected expenditures were

a. baby shower gift

b. Amtrak ticket (for a conference)

c. Conference hotel room

d. yoga classes

NLC Fast

2012-01-09T07:00:00.000-06:00

I wrote a month's worth of posts this weekend, so I won't be dark like I was last week. Thanks to Lauren for putting a fire under me. One day, I'll update my blog's look... don't hold your breath or anything. :-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is my second January with New Life Covenant (NLC) and I guess Pastor Hannah calls a fast every January, because I'm pretty sure we did the same thing last year.

Here are the guidelines I'll be sticking to for the month.

Week 1 - M-F - no meat (I did that!)

Week 2 - 3 days M-F - a liquid diet (pray for me)

Week 3 - M-F - A fast of my choice. I think I'm going to do Twitter again

Week 4 - M-F - One hour of quiet time each day

This is pretty simple stuff. I heard that fellowship is doing a 21-day-pick-what-you-want fast. Is your church doing a January fast?

2011: Year In Abriged Review

2011-12-31T07:00:00.017-06:00

January: Brought the new year in with the fam* at dinner, a Kevin Hart Show, a house party and the club (My big brother* is a Type A event planner, LOL!). Got promoted at the gig. YAY GOD and YAY ME!!! Went to D.C. for work. Went to OKC to visit Dorian.

February: Paid off credit card 4 of 6

March: Learned how to ski in Lake Tahoe

April: Lost 10 lbs: You see it! My birthday celebration in Jamaica**

May: Tiff's wedding in Jamaica**, NYC for work, Dorian's baby shower in OKC (I missed Paris' epic bday wknd. Someone remind me to block my calendar on her bday in 2012.)

June: New York for work/play. Tallahassee to see my baby brother. Lisa's bridal shower. Donavan arrived. I love his little life!

July: Had the best.weekend.ever when @antithesis came to visit for the 4th of July. Mother-daughter Vegas trip my my mom's bff and her daughter.

August: Did day-of coordinating for my 3rd wedding!!!

September: Lisa's Wedding!!!! NOLA for the Bears game. Jenn's baby shower.

October: Paid off credit card 5 of 6. Went to Milwaukee for the NBPRS Conference. Tiff's baby shower.

November: Went to L.A. for work. Jaiden arrived!!! Celebrated 7 years with the gig. The gig moved offices. Ms. J's retirement party over Thanksgiving break.

December: I was in town all month [I think]. Nita's Bday and a madame proposition, AJ's housewarming, Celeste's MBA Graduation party, Su's housewarming, Khary's ugly sweater party, Kisha's bday brunch, good old-fashioned family time on Christmas, Mike's wedding (Yes, Big Mike).

*no blood relation.
** same event.

My Life is Hilarious

2011-12-22T07:00:00.001-06:00

So I had a windfall of money in my federal spending account. This year they were proactive and sent a note saying, you will use this money if you don't use this money. So I click on the list of things that I can buy.

It's basically a bunch of BS, if you're not sick, but then I found out you can buy condoms with it. First of all, I never knew this before, but secondly, my bad planning equals an HIV/AIDS organization's blessing.

So I go to Wal-mart.com to buy, oh, I don't know 1000 condoms. Clearly the card didn't go through. So I have to call up the FSA folks and say "Hey, I was trying to buy an item that's FSA approved, but my card will not go through." I was praying she didn't ask me what it was. As much of an adult and HIV/AIDS awareness and prevention advocate as I am, it's still weird to be like "yeah... let me get hundreds of condoms. 'Preciate ya."

Anywho, she told me there's a store that let's you get these item without submitting receipts. Tweeps, I present to you www.fsastore.com. Get all the condoms you want (and cough medicine and whatever the hell else you need). Free shipping on orders over $50. Why didn't they send this info to me in the mail? Goofs.

Also, can we discuss how many people popped by my office while I was trying to buy condoms. You would have thought I was on Monster.com. And then I had to decide where to ship them. I know it'll be discretely packaged, but how do I explain taking home a box (or hell boxes) of condoms. You know coworkers are nosy. They're going to think I'm running a brothel.

And remind me not to leave my e-mail open next to any new boos.
Living Social - Normal.
Groupon - Normal.
Corner Bakery - Normal.
University of Illinois Alumni Association - Smart and Normal.
Sprinkles Cupcakes - Sweet and normal.
A shipment for... hundreds of condoms - all hell naw, let me leave this chic alone.

Anywho, has your charity ever been this funny? Please tell me it's not just me.

P.S. If you need some condoms... I GOT you.

Varying Workouts

2011-12-21T07:00:00.000-06:00

New reader [I think] Carly asked what I meant by varying workouts. And since I don't have anything else to talk about, I'm going to use a whole blog post to answer her question.

Hey Carly! Thanks for reading. The long answer is...

I don't have a gym membership right now, so I basically find workouts to do online and sometimes work out at the gym in my office building. Since it's not the same class every day, my workouts vary. I've been unnecessarily hungry... like famished all thee time.

My friends on Twitter told me that it's because I'm exercising more, which is true. Then my bff noted that all of the magazines say that when you vary your exercise routine, you burn more calories, which is also true.

For example ShapeFit.com says this:

Vary your exercise routine. When you use the same muscle groups repeatedly doing the same exercise, the body adjusts and burns fewer calories. So, surprise the body and engage in different activities and utilize different muscle groups. Your body will reward you with a better metabolic rate.

I hope this explains it.

Crushin'

2011-12-20T07:00:00.001-06:00

Crushes are awesomely wonderful and horribly terrible depending on what stage of the crush it is.

Awesomely wonderful
- Him sending good morning texts and me actually liking it
- Me trying to figure out what to wear on our first date
- All of the possibilities

Horribly Terrible
- Wondering if my flirting is working
- Taking 45 minutes to respond to a simple text message because I don't know him that well and I don't want to say the wrong thing
- The goofass conversation I have with myself about if I should keep talking, or let him talk or smile or flirt

Having a crush turns me into a teenager. *giggle* So, yeah, I'm crushin' right now [read: when I wrote this]. I'll let y'all know how it turns out [read: one day in the future when you cannot connect any dots].

Hungry Hippo

2011-12-19T12:07:00.003-06:00

Working out every day and varying has boosted my metabolism so much. I don't think I'm losing weight, but I'm hungrier than that thang because my body needs fuel for all of the damage I'm doing to it. Here's a list of what I have a taste for right now... in no particular order

- Stuffed mushrooms
- Egg nog
- Catfish nuggets
- Harold's
- My auntie Penny's mostaccioli
- A potbelly cookie

Who has cravings like this? A mess.

Community Service/Involvement

2011-12-16T07:00:00.000-06:00

So Antithesis asked me to blog about where to volunteer/how to get more involved with the community, etc.

Here are some of my favorite ways to volunteer:

Chicago Cares (I'm pretty sure there's a DC Cares as well). You can sign up for one-time projects. This is perfect for people like me who travel and can't commit to doing something every week.

Boys & Girls Clubs of America - I suggest you walk into a club though vs. e-mailing. They are SO slow on e-mail. Find your local B&GC here.

Church - A lot of churches do community outreach, but they don't always publicize it. Call your church's office and ask how you can volunteer with them or for them.

Soup Kitchens - If you see a lot of homeless people standing around a church or community center around 4 or 5 p.m., it's likely that the place has a soup kitchen (and it's really not a soup kitchen. I've never once served soup at these things. I digress). Write the number down, call and ask how you can help. One of my faves in Chicago is the Ravenswood Pantry.

Women's Shelters - It's SO easy to volunteer for women's shelters. They ALWAYS need cosmetic products and clothes - something I know the ladies love to shop for. So the next time you go shopping, get one for you and one for a women's shelter (or one for you and a travel size for the women's shelter) and drop it off. My favorite women's shelter in Chicago to volunteer/donate is Deborah's Place.

Walks and Runs - Pick your cause (AIDS/HIV, Breast Cancer, Multiple Schlerosis), find out when their annual walk or run is and sign up to volunteer. You'll be doing things like signing people in, giving runners drinks and encouraging runners. It's a great way to get involved. My favorite Walk is the AIDS Walk/Run in Chicago.

Pick a Fave - Finally, pick a nonprofit organization who's mission you align with, call their office and ask how you can help. They'll have you do everything from cooking, cleaning and filing paperwork to planning, staffing and publicizing their events.

There are SO many ways to get involved and it's so easy. Let me know how you decide to volunteer in 2012. Actually, don't wait until 2012. Do it now!!!

The Hoe Stroll: aka Pappadeaux

2011-12-15T07:00:00.000-06:00

You see the title, so I'll get right to it. We're at Pappadeaux, my sister's birthday dinner is coming to a close, we're waiting for the cake to come out. There are 15 black women there. I'm the youngest one and we range in age from my age to 55. It's all women, but clearly a wholesome, family affair.

A woman comes to our section looking for Kim. We say, there's no Kim here. She turns around like she's going to leave our section, but then comes right back. Here's what she said to us:

"There are men over there and they have money." Except she didn't say "money", she rubbed her fingers together to indicate that they're loaded. "Now, I need two other girls to go with me. I'm not going to do anything I don't want to do."

She had a bad weave that was somewhere between Rihanna red and my little pony pink. If I decided to let my morals go and hire a madam, please believe she wouldn't look like that.

I digress.

So the shock of what's going on has left almost everyone paralyzed. I turn and say, we're all married, hoping this would get her to go away. It did not.

She moved very slowly like she was trying to re-think her pitch (clearly she was on something stronger than weed or vodka) and then she zeroed in on one of my sister's friends. To be clear, this is one of my sister's older sister-in-law's friends. This lady is GROWN. She's been married for 21 years and has grown children. She's probably a grandmother. I can't remember her name, we'll call her Jackie. So the madam steps to Jackie and starts rollin' her neck and says "un uh, don't look at me like that just because I'm single."

Friends, let me tell you I saw my life flash before my eyes. I was thinking there are 15 of us and 1 of you and YOU approached US with a hostile attitude. This could go HORRIBLY, TERRIBLY... TRAGICALLY wrong. So I try to tell Jackie not to engage, but Jackie, mild-mannered as she is was not hearing anything I'm talking about with this bootlegged madam going off on her.

So our waiter, tall white guy named Patrick comes over and I'm like "Patrick, she is not with us, please ask her to leave RIGHT AWAY."

Patrick takes one look at the madam, turns on his heel and says "I'll get the manager". He was gone so fast, VERYFAST. I'm thinking: Patrick NO!!! A serious ass-whoopin' is about to commence. You need to remove this woman before she gets herself hurt. Patrick's manager must've been busy because Patrick came back and with a very firm voice said "Ma'am! Ma'am? My manager needs to see you RIGHT NOW." So she takes her high/drunk/delusional self out of our section and we clap it up for Patrick and say a prayer of thanks. I did NOT want the night to end on a sour note.

Best part: As the madam's leaving Patrick looks at her and says "enjoy your meal". iDied.

As the situation ends and the night closes (and the madam is still posted up at the bar), it occurs to me that maybe Pappadeaux in Westmont, IL may be a front for a brothel. It's could be the place to get your suburban swerve on. I do NOT approve.

It costs what?

2011-12-14T08:57:00.001-06:00

Next spring I'm headed out of the country for vacation and it dawned on me that my passport is expiring in 2012. I have a couple of days off, so I was thinking let me be on top of things and run and get that handled this year and I'll have it back in 4-6 (sometimes 8) weeks. Man... it costs $110 for the renewal and $25 to process.

With Christmas, New Year's Eve and just general kickin' on deck, I don't have an extra $135 in December. I don't know what I was thinking. It'll be a last-minute passport, per usual.

Has the price off something caught you off guard recently? I know it's not just me.

Weddings, Saving and all that other jazz

2011-12-13T07:00:00.000-06:00

So I was discussing wedding costs with this guy I was dating (we'll call him the boo that got away) and he was saying how he has a maximum cost for a wedding ring no matter how much money he makes. I swear I didn't bring the subject up. He's long gone... maybe... hopefully not. I digress.

He left me with an interesting way of thinking about money though. I could subscribe to the school of thought "It's mine, I spend it." OR I could determine how much I have to spend for a particular item and do everything in my power to only spend that much.

I thought about this because for the past couple of years for Christmas I've really cut back, but no one has noticed. Because I still give thoughtful gifts and I'm still giving gifts period. Some folks have just given up on gifts all together and bring fruitcake. LOL! But I struggle to be in the mindset that even if I do have it, I shouldn't be spending it.

Between ex-boo and the thrill of watching Extreme Couponing, I feel like I should be spending less money and still getting the same stuff.

This post is random as ever, but some ways I thought about being frugal are shopping at discount grocery stores, thrifting, borrowing costly items (like ski gear), donating things instead of throwing them away for that good tax deduction, doing all the free surveys to get free gift cards, donuts, opportunities to win cash, etc.

Is frugality a habit for you or are you only frugal when you have to be?

Christmas & Charity

2011-12-12T11:38:00.000-06:00

Ok, remember this post from last year? Buying Christmas gifts was stressing me out. One of my Jewish friends told me to convert because Hannukah isn't that big of a deal and she doesn't spend a lot of money on gifts. LOL!

Anywho, I bought inexpensive, but IMO, still great gifts last year. So this year, the same issue came up. And this year it's not the case of having the money or not, it's more or less do I really want to spend my money on gifts that people may or may not use. Do I really want to set my goals back by ballin' out on Christmas and the answer is no.

So I decided that all of my gifts this year would be charitable, so not only will I be frugal, but I'll be giving to great causes. Fortunately, this idea of "giving back" while giving is not original. So I checked out a post the Fab Giver did about it a couple of years ago. I pored through those sites and found things I liked and that my gift recipients would like and was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized charity ain't cheap. Man, between the marked up prices and the shipping and handling, of the eight gifts I bought, I could only afford for one to be about charity.

BUT one is better than none (and I'm pretty charitable thoughout the year if I do say so myself), so I still feel pretty good about it.

How's your Christmas shopping going? Have you started? Are you a Scrooge this year? Are you only shopping online? Any fascinating Black Friday stories? Check in. My comment section is lonely. :P

Restaurant: Impossible

2011-12-09T07:00:00.000-06:00

There's a new show [or at least I think it's new, who would know] called Restaurant: Impossible. It's basically like Tabitha's Salon Takeover, except with a british man who takes over restaurants that are failing. I friggin' love this show.

I'm currently [read: when I wrote this post I was] watching a marathon. AND they madeover a soup kitchen in Newark, NJ and Mayor Cory Booker stopped by. I LOVE Mayor Cory Booker and everything he stands for.

Anywho, here's a clip.

Have you all seen this show? What do you think?

Do It Now

2011-12-08T09:38:00.000-06:00

So I told you all about #30for30

I'm thinking about doing a water fast as well. I know everyone will be on their on their New Year's resolution kick soon, but eff that, do it now.

The fab giver mentioned something about finishing strong and I love that! No matter what roadblocks 2011 has put in your way, instead of wanting to do away with the year, renew your commitment to __________ and do it now.

For me it's fitness and healthy eating. I'm 13 days into my 30 for 30, I'm eating more fresh fruits and veggies and drinking more water. I don't need to wait for 2012 to be great. I can be great RIGHT NOW.

Workout at home

2011-12-07T07:00:00.003-06:00

Ok, so after not stepping foot in a gym in August or September, then a bout with bikram yoga in October (#HATEDIT), and a vow to start working out again in November, I FINALLY started 30 for 30 on November 28th. 30 minutes of exercise for 30 straight days.

I still haven't joined a gym, but there are other ways to work out. Monday-Friday I work out the gym in my new office building. On the weekends I do workout DVDs and online workouts. Here are my faves:

Jeanette Jenkins - Cardio Dance DVD

10 Minute Solutions - Pilates DVD

www.yogisanonymous.com

www.liveexercise.com

www.flirtygirlfitnesslive.com

www.exercise.tv

What are your favorite at-home workouts? Online workout sites?

#ThingsFriendsDo

2011-12-06T07:00:00.001-06:00

Some of these are heavy. Some are light. All true.

10. Take naps for you when they're off and you have to go to work.
9. Go clean off or in on your behalf when you're too weary to do it yourself.
8. Throw dinner parties for you to meet eligible bachelors and invite random people so it won't just be a blind date with you and ol' boy.
7. Bring cookies to your office to brighten your day.
6. Say "I'm sorry that happened to you" even though they have nothing to be sorry about
5. Pray for you like they're praying for themselves and AGREE with you in Jesus' name that it will be done.
4. REFER ME TO FRIENDS THAT ARE GETTING MARRIED, so my side hustle can grow AND so I can help make their day fantabulous!!!
3. Tell you when Sprinkles just announced "50 free cupcakes"
2. Drive you home without sighing or complaining when they live on the other side of town
1. Plan fabulous birthday trips/destination weddings so you don't have to plan your own vacation (LOL!)

Keepin' It Simple

2011-12-05T07:00:00.001-06:00

Convenience runs my life. If it's not convenient, I likely won't do it. There are some fabulous companies that feed my lifestyle. I've mentioned my love for each over the course of blogging, but I'm going to put them all in the same spot.

The CTA - That's right. The oft-loathed organization simplifies my life. Between www.goroo.com and 836-7000 I can get anywhere I need to be in the city and the close suburbs.

Zipcar - I probably need to assess if I'm wasting money on Zipcar (something like $100 a day or $10 an hour for a car). I still think I'm saving money on insurance, stickers, parking tickets, speeding tickets and all the other stuff I'd have to pay for if I had a car full time.

Avis -I'm Avis Preferred, so whether I'm traveling for business or pleasure my car is ready to go when I get there. They also have the best sales, deals and free car days. They love me. I love them back.

Peapod - I friggin' love this company. They're not a discount grocer, so I'm rarely going to "save" money even with coupons and sales with them, but hey, Trader Joe's ain't droppin' my groceries IN my kitchen. I can't complain.

Netflix - Oh people hate them and they made some marketing mistakes, but I still get excited about movies in the mail. They also know me so well based on my preferences. If they say I'm going to love a movie, I do. If they say I'm going to hate a movie, I will. I'm still #TeamNetflix (as long as my prices don't go up).

I'm trying a cleaning service this month. Hopefully, they'll be amazing and I can add them to this list. Yes, I'm getting a studio deep cleaned. #JudgeMe

What companies make your life easier? What services could you not live without?

Talk is Cheap...

2011-12-02T00:07:00.004-06:00

Well, I should say... I always talk about being cheap. LOL! Not really, but I was talking to a friend/co-worker who's like a little sister to me. She's never been to our holiday party and was asking about attire. She goes are you buying something. And I reply "I'd like to... *looks to the sky*... actually, nope, I'm not buying anything. It's not in my budget."

So she sort of chuckles and was like I've heard about your budget a few times. I was thinking "oh no. Am I THAT girl. Am I always talking about my budget, how stuff costs too much, how iaintgonebeabletodoit."

She then went on to say she learned a lot from me talking about my budget (how many promotions and raises have I gotten and I still choose to live in a studio? Like a gazillion).

Anywho, I know I talk about money and budgeting a lot on the blog, but I guess it finds itself in my day-to-day conversation as well.

If you know me in real life, have I hit you with the "nah, that's not in my budget"? Is that my signature?

Also, I love that the recession makes it OK for me talk about a budget. If I was grown in the 80s, my "budget" would be a #realissue

World AIDS Day 2011

2011-12-01T10:32:00.001-06:00

Each World AIDS day I try to think about what I can say that's stronger than what I said last year. Is it a statistic and ode to my nieces or just a link to what one of my fave orgs is doing. What can I say to get people reading my blog to STOP what they're doing and go get tested for HIV. What can I say to get people reading my blog to START using condoms (birth control pills do not protect against HIV)...

I guess, I have to do what's most natural to me. Just real talk. So let's talk about AIDS & HIV real quick. I read two interesting takes on prevention in the December issue of Essence.

1. Vaginal gel spiked with HIV medication tenofovir lowered women's chances of contracting HIV by 51% (from a South African study) (Tea's comments: This is empowering for women who may be harmed for asking their partners to use a condom. I wouldn't use this as an alternative to condoms.)

2. Giving HIV-negative patients medication to prevent from contracting the disease from their HIV-positive partner. It decreased chances by 63%. (Tea's comments: This is amazing to me. So many people are married to or in love with people with AIDS/HIV and sex doesn't come to a stop because someone has a disease that could potentially end your life. If you're HIV-positive and having sex, I think this is a great option for your HIV-negative partner)

So, Tea & Such readers, what do you think about these radical advances in the fight against AIDS and HIV?

Moving and Such: Part 2

2011-11-30T08:49:00.000-06:00

So as you can see my life is all about convenience. My grocery store is walking distance from my home (for when I'm not using Peapod). If something isn't on my bus route, I'm generally not going and I just like to be *Jamie Foxx voice* comf-table.

Here's the rest of the things you need to know when moving offices to make your day go by smoothly.

5. How to use your phone. Oh, the laughs we had trying to dial into a client call on the new phones. I swear I'm college educated, but I need to press what? How do I conference someone in? Tell me again. LOL!

4. Where the cheapest and most delicious lunch spots are located. I had pasta with sauce and bread for $6 my first day venturing out. Not bad, not bad.

3. Where the supply room is located. I still haven't found it here, but it's on and poppin' when I do. Your girl loves multicolored Post-its. Hooray!

2. Which printer you print to. Self-explanatory. I never realized I printed out so much paper. Wht can I say, I do enjoy hard copies of the written word.

1. Where your friends and teammates sit. I definitely have a few more rounds around this place before I can pinpoint all of my peeps.

Did you recently start a new job or move offices? Do you have any fun tips to share?

Moving and Such

2011-11-29T08:42:00.000-06:00

My gig moved to our new offices and it doesn't seem like such a big deal until your routine is knocked off its square. Here are 10 things you want to find out BEFORE you move offices (or at least on your 1st day).

10. Where is the closest Dunkin' Donuts or Starbucks (whatever you fancy) - There are no DDs, by my new gig. I also found out that the cafe in the hotel near the gig "brews Starbucks coffee", but is not a Starbucks. My search for coffee and breakfast continues.

9. How will this change your commute. One of my coworkers took a cab on the first day. She was like "I don't that bus route that well". This was hilariously funny to me. I'm actually closer to the new gig, same bus route, which makes me happy.

8. How to use the elevators in your new building. Apparently friendly people are hard to come by. So when I pressed our floor about 10 times and it wouldn't stay lit, no one told me that I needed my key card to access the floor. Womp.

7. Shortcuts into the building. It doesn't seem like a lot, but one entrance is a block away from another. In the Chitown cold, rain, sleet or snow, I was pleasantly surprised to find out I could go through the back entrance. Shorter steps to warmth. :)

6. Building Amenities - Apparently there's a grocery store in this place, but you have to take the freight elevator to it. Fun and scary at the same time.

More on this tomorrow...

Ok, we get it

2011-11-28T07:00:00.000-06:00

I totally stole this concept from KD, but it's so fitting. In honor of the holiday season here are some of my holiday "Ok, we get its"

Ok, we get it: Christmas shopping is all about commercialism and has nothing to do with Jesus and you hate it.
Ok, we get it: You're not buying Christmas gifts this year and it has nothing to do with the fact that you are broke, it's because you hate commercialism.
Ok, we get it: Jesus was not born on December 25th.
Ok, we get it: You hate getting mass text messages on holidays. Don't send you one, lest we want to be blasted off our your "friends" list.
Ok, we get it: You hate logging onto Twitter on the holidays because people are so positive and there's no reason to be positive one day and negative the other 364.
Ok, we get it: You're not a Christian. You're "spiritual". You hate all Christian based holidays and the "God Bless You"s and "Jesus is the reason for the season"s that come with it.
Ok, we get it: You're upset that people are Tweeting about snow and cold because it snows and is cold every winter. Because God forbid people talk about meaningless topics on a platform as big and important as Twitter.

That's all I have for now, but ok... we get it.

Black Friday

2011-11-25T07:00:00.000-06:00

All these years, I've been writing this blog and I've never talked about Black Friday [and/or I can't find it when I search which means it doesn't exist]. Let's get to it shall we.

I don't shop on Black Friday. It has nothing to do with commercialism and greed: Here's why:

1. I like to sleep.

2. I can find a good sale, any day, anywhere.

3. I heard about someone dying at a Wal-mart in D.C. a couple of years ago. I could see the headline now: Chicago PR Diva Trampled in Search of Discounts on Her Client's Products... #NoThankYou

4. I don't generally have any money the day after Thanksgiving.

So, what about you? Did you hit the malls on Black Friday? Is it a family tradition? Do you love it? Hate it? Did your wife or husband drag you out?

Tell me about your experience. I love to hear these stories.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

2011-11-24T07:00:00.002-06:00

Liking a Lame

2011-11-23T07:00:00.001-06:00

Yes, yes, I'm an adult and I shouldn't care what other people think, but I'm grown enough to know that I do.

And not just what they think. I don't like lameness either. But I've decided that lameness is ok, so that I won't be single and barren, yes, I said barren.

Not nerdiness, not geekiness, just plain socially awkward and lame. I'm giving it a whirl because Paul said introverts are cool (Yes, I think introverts are lame, please don't be offended, it's just my very cool opinion. LOL!)

So I wrote the italicized text about 5 months ago when I started dating this lame dude. I kept it in my drafts because I really thought it was going to work out. I wanted to add the ending (or at least a fun middle to the post).

It's still funny so I'm sharing, but the bottom fell out because I couldn't quite deal with his awkwardness (and he was cheap to boot).

#OnToTheNextOne

Who's having fun chronicling my dating escapades. *raises hand* Oh, it's just me, huh? Oh ok.

About Yesterday's Post

2011-11-22T07:00:00.000-06:00

I have so much to say about it. I'll try to keep it to 10 things.

1. I got that from the Fab Giver and shared it with a lot of my girls. Thank goodness it's not just me.

2. Kelly Cutrone's book is If you need to cry, go outside. Not go outside if you need to cry. As a marketer, this kind of word construction is important to me.

3. I think it's irresponsible of the author to suggest that the sole reason there are NOT more women in the C-suite is because we burn out by 30. This neglects women who choose the family route over the career route, women who choose to stay out of the C-suite (for whatever reason) and the elephant in EVERY room - blatant discrimination.

4. I wish Forbes.com would have followed up with an article about what to DO about women burning out at or around 30. It's good to know that I have company, but *big Pun voice* I'M TRYNA LIVE.

What did you all think about yesterday's article? Or my commentary on it?

Oh, so it's not just me...

2011-11-21T07:00:00.000-06:00

Why Millennial Women Are Burning Out At Work By 30
by Larissa Faw
Forbes.com

Young professional women may not relate to the financial struggles their Millennial peers are protesting against during the Occupy New York movement. After all, these ambitious go-getters are working as doctors, lawyers, engineers, and advertising executives, blessed with great salaries, health benefits, and paid vacation.

But these women understand the protestors’ frustration and unhappiness over the fact that their lives aren’t supposed to turn out this way. This is why a growing number of young professional women who seem to “have it all” are burning out at work before they reach 30.

These early career flameouts are reflected through the corporate ladder. Today, 53% of corporate entry-level jobs are held by women, a percentage that drops to 37% for mid-management roles and 26% for vice presidents and senior managers, according to McKinsey research. Men are twice as likely as women to advance at each career transition stage. One rationale is that men are more likely than women to do things that help their personal wellbeing at work, thus negating burnout, according to the Captivate Network. Men are 25% more likely to take breaks throughout the day for personal activities, 7% more likely to take a walk, 5% more likely to go out to lunch, and 35% more likely to take breaks “just to relax.”

It seems relaxation is something Millennial women have never experienced. One reason that women are burning out early in their careers is that they have simply reached their breaking point after spending their childhoods developing well-rounded resumes. “These women worked like crazy in school, and in college, and then they get into the workforce and they are exhausted,” says Melanie Shreffler of the youth marketing blog Ypulse.
Many also didn’t think of their lives beyond landing the initial first job. “They need to learn life is a marathon, not a sprint,” says Kelly Cutrone, president of People’s Revolution PR and author of Go Outside If You Need To Cry. Ypulse’s Shreffler adds, “They expected things to be better now that they’ve arrived and made it. But instead they are starting over on the bottom rung and still striving. You can’t see the end of the tunnel because they are so many twists and turns. It’s impossible to see what life will be like in 20 years these days. It’s hard to look just 3-4 years in the future. They don’t know what they are striving for, which makes it really hard to move forward.”

Even those who did plot out their lives past the initial first career have unrealistic expectations about full-time employment. It’s not as if these women expected their jobs to be parties and good times, but many underestimated the actual day-to-day drudgery. “College is nothing more than a baby-sitting service. These students are totally unprepared for the real world. The reality for women who want to work in PR is that they are going to be working with 24 catty [women] who will backstab and compete with them. No one will say thank you. You will eat lunch at 5 p.m. It sucks and it’s hard work,” says Cutrone.

All of this unhappiness has left young women struggling over their next move. Simply quitting or changing careers isn’t an option because the education for their professional jobs has burdened them with substantial student debt. Also, while earlier generations may have opted out of the workforce through marriage or motherhood, these paths aren’t viable for these self-sufficient women, who either are still single or unwilling to be fully supported by men.

Instead, Millennial women are tapping into their Type-A personalities to combat this fatigue. “It’s important to analyze what is causing the dissatisfaction,” says Purdue University’s Teri Thompson. “The old adage, ‘Out of the frying pan and into the kettle’ is filled with wisdom: often we leave a job because of unhappiness and in our zeal to get away, we fall right back into the same traps, the same situations.” Therefore, these women are requesting more flexible schedules or seeking different work responsibilities. Many are turning to therapists and prescription medicines, as well as explore alternative remedies, including acupuncture, yoga, and even psychics.

Ultimately these women are going through the difficult realization that they may have to redefine their goals and come up with different measures of success in order to thrive in the corporate world, says Thompson. “It often takes many years to really understand one’s strengths and where one finds happiness. In a sense, I do think it’s unrealistic to assume a long sought-after job can bring one such happiness that one’s searching is done. We’re all a work in progress; new inputs—from new friends to new places visited—mean we’re constantly changing in our thoughts of what’s desired, what’s possible, what’s fun, what we want to do.”

Good News For the Weekend

2011-11-17T07:00:00.003-06:00

Ok, so we already discussed how Credit Karma is not a credit score in real life? Howsoever, I still check my Credit Karma score feverishly because:

1. It's free

2. If it went up, my real credit score probably went up

3. The site has good tools on it that show how you're doing all in one place - credit and debt wise

So... after staying the same for 6 long months (and essentially sending me clean off since my real credit score is much higher), my Credit Karma score finally went up 10 pts. *do a dance*

It still feels good and I can use all the endorphins I can get. Woot woot!

I'll be excited to check the real score whenever it's necessary. I don't want a car and buying property is becoming less and less attractive to me, so I can't think of a reason I NEED to pay to see my credit score right now. Stay tuned.

Event Alert: Support a Supporter

2011-11-15T07:00:00.002-06:00

There's a lady who's always on the north side (Lincoln Park/Lakeview) asking for money for HIV/AIDS. She has a little can and pins that she gives out if you support. I think her name is Patti. She's short, round (#NoDiss) and has firy kool-aid red hair. If you live in my neighborhood and run weekend errands, you absolutely CANNOT miss her.

What I did not know is that she has singlehandedly raised more than $50,000 for Vital Bridges (the organization I blogged about yesterday). I also found out this weekend that she has cancer and needs help paying for her medical bills.

So the good folks at Vital Bridges put together a fundraiser in her honor.

Cocktail
6-8 p.m.
3359 N. Halsted

I don't know her life, but I know that medical bills are expensive with or without insurance. I also know that it takes a special kind of person to stand on the street and ask for money for someone else. Her selflessness and trustworthiness has shown because she could have taken some of that money to pay her own medical bills - but she didn't.

I'll have my face in the place, if only for a moment. Let me know if you want to roll.

0,000,000 Cured

2011-11-14T11:07:00.004-06:00

That crushing statistic stared back at me as I volunteered at the North Side location of Vital Bridges, an organization that supports people in the Chicagoland area living with AIDS/HIV. I've been in a funk lately and decided to get up, get out and do something and boy did that stat give me the swift kick in the butt I needed to remind me that the fight against HIV/AIDS is alive and well.

Do you want to hear another crushing statistic, pre-Obama just over 26% of Americans volunteered at least once per year. Hol' up, Hol' up, Hol' up. You mean to tell me 3 out of 4 people ARE NOT volunteering.

I digress.

Let me tell you a little more about Vital Bridges. Vital Bridges’ mission is to help people throughout metropolitan Chicago impacted by HIV and AIDS to improve their health and build self-sufficiency by providing food, nutrition, housing, case management and prevention services.

Started in 1988, Vital Bridges has provided more than 10 million meals, 600,000 nights of shelter and 250,000 hours of counseling to over 10,000 clients. I friggin' love this organization. It's grassroots, it's full of love and it's run like a well-oiled machine - or organized chaos, however you want to call it. LOL!

I help with the food pantry, which is called Groceryland. A few years ago, I used to volunteer regularly at the South Side location. Now that I'm sans vehicle, I'm moved my efforts over to the north side. Same operating procedure though: Clients come in with grocery lists, we run through the pantry with carts to fill everything out and clients leave with food for the week (or sometimes two weeks).

I volunteer through Chicago Cares, my favorite volunteer org in the Chi. Let me know if you want to come with me one Saturday. Maybe we can have a Tea & Such volunteer day.

So... what's your favorite volunteer project/opportunity?

#ThatAwkwardMoment

2011-11-10T09:08:00.002-06:00

This is one of my favorite Twitter tags. There are SO many awkward moments in life. Let me tell you about a few of them here. I decided to try Bikram yoga. I LOVE Hatha yoga and I heard that Bikram was just the very hot version of Hatha. It is not. Long story short, it's 105 degrees or pure bodily torture. It's not easy, it's not relaxing, I do not feel cool, calm and collected when it's over.

I'm a goof and did it not once, but twice. Let me tell you about some of the awkward moments from Bikram yoga.

#ThatAwkwardMoment

When you take a night class and it smells like the ghosts of every class past

When an instructor corrects your pose by touching you, but you're dripping sweat. Ew!

When you don't know if the puddle you just slipped in is your sweat or someone else's

When some flamboyant man is in the front of the class, with nothing but yoga drawls on, showing off

When the class has to do a breathing exercise and all you can think about it hot air on your neck

When the instructor singles you out (happens to me in every fitness class, mainly because I'm black, but also because I do the bare minimum) and you have to give them the look of death to get them to leave you alone

When the classroom looks full, but someone comes and puts their mat in the itty bitty teeny weeny space RIGHT next to you (man, it's too hot to be this close. Can I breathe?)

When you realize the towel you paid $2 for was used by someone else at some point in life.

Needless to say all this sweating with strangers completely creeped me out and I will NOT be going back to Bikram. Next up, I may try boxing.

We Like to Party...

2011-11-04T07:52:00.003-05:00

Party is my favorite song on Bey's new album. I actually just play it back to back to back on Saturday morning and well... Saturday nights. It's the perfect Saturday song.

Beyonce is SO FLY and her latest video Party delivers all that flyness in so many ways. First of all, you can tell that they were straight kickin' it in this video. If you know me in real life I hope you heard my voice say that. I'll say it again: *head back, fist to mouth* STRAIGHT. KICKIN' IT!

I'm never mad at a good party.

The other awesome thing about this song is that Party actually means "party" the way ego actually means "ego" in another of Bey's songs. I love Bey for that. Giving us all that sexy, but not being vulgar with it.

And since Vevo is a hater, here's the LINK to the video instead of letting me embed it like YouTube.

Last, but not least, how haute is her make-up in all the scenes. Definitely fun styles that anyone can try and there's a tutorial for Bey's eye shadow over at fashion bomb.

Did I just infuse your morning with all things fabulous or what. Um hm. You're welcome!

ABG

2011-10-31T07:00:00.000-05:00

Have you all seen the Misadventures of an Awkward Black Girl? It's SO funny. It's not censored, so definitely watch it at home (or get some headphones), but it's hilarious. Here's the first episode:

Football Roll Call

2011-10-26T07:00:00.000-05:00

Football is BACK! Yes, I know I'm late with the excitement on the blog, but better late than never.

Can I get a football roll call on here? Say where you're from and/or where you live and your favorite team. Also, because I'm curious, if your favorite team is not your hometown team, say what made you pick your fave.

I'll start.

I'm from Broadview, IL (western suburb of Chicago). I live in Chicago now. I'M REPPING THE MONSTERS OF THE MIDWAY, THE CHICAGO BEARS [TIL THE DAY I DIE]!!!!! #DABEARS

Perfectionism and Such

2011-10-25T07:00:00.005-05:00

Perfectionism is the worst. It's not a good answer to the interview question what is your weakness. It's a mental (i.e. medical) disorder. If someone says what is your weakness and you say I'm a perfectionist, you may as well say: I'm an alcoholic or I'm schizophrenic. Not judging those diseases, I'm saying who shares their diseases in a job interview.

Today, I determined that my brain cannot function professional disorganization. This is why I'm such a great team leader and problem solver. I pull together globs of information floating in the atmosphere and figure out how to break them down into a straight line, so that I can understand it better. Or in some cases, so that others can understand it better.

I want straight lines from Point "A" to Point "B". However... there are not always straight lines.

The medical definition of perfectionism: The setting of unrealistically demanding goals accompanied by a disposition to regard failure to achieve them as unacceptable and a sign of personal worthlessness.

Oh, the funny attached to that definition. I could go on and on, but you all don't need to be in my head like that. On the one hand I love that my hunger for excellence has propelled me forward, on the other, I hate the way it makes me feel about others who aren't doing things the way I think is right and good.

This post could have also been entitled: I have problems, pray for me.

Event Alert: NBPRS Conference

2011-10-24T07:00:00.000-05:00

From October 27th to 30th, Milwaukee will host the 2011 National Black Public Relations Society Conference. I encourage my colleagues in the field of marketing communications to join me a jam-packed weekend with industry leaders and insiders.

The very cool thing about this conference is that if you don't have time to attend the entire thing, you can purchase tickets to the luncheons or attend some of the receptions for free and still network.

I am a HUGE supporter of this organization that helped connect me to my current employer and has helped to develop my professional development over the years. As a board member AND speaker for the conference, I'd be remiss if I didn't strongly encourage my colleagues who read this blog to come out and support, learn and network.

Below find links to register for the conference (and the various receptions and lunches, if you're not coming to the entire conference).

SEE YOU IN MILWAUKEE!!!

Thursday - Opening Reception (FREE) registration

Friday - Founder's & Business Luncheon ($65 w/o conference registration) with keynote speaker Carol Moseley Braun

Friday - Cultural Reception (FREE) registration

Saturday - Networking Luncheon ($65 w/o conference registration) with keynote speaker Meredith Moore, Director, External Relations and Brand Outreach at McDonald's

Maids and Such

2011-10-21T10:10:00.002-05:00

Have some reader questions

1. Do you have a maid/cleaning service?
2. If yes to 1, how often do they come?
3. Are they in your home when you're NOT there
4. If yes to 3, how did you get over the scare of them stealing or going through your internet files or just snooping through your stuff.
4. If not to 3, what do you do while they're cleaning?

I'm considering getting a cleaning service. Yes, I live in a studio (which is exactly why I can afford a cleaning service). I'll do my own laundry until eternity, but I'm seriously tired of cleaning up. When I come home, I just want to relax. And I'd probably cook more if I didn't have to clean the kitchen before cooking every time.

I'm interested to hear your experiences.

Q3 Update: September

2011-10-20T07:00:00.000-05:00

This month I skipped:

5. The Spelhouse game in D.C. despite having a free place to stay and tickets only being about $250. You know what I did with that $250 right? #MadeitRainonthemHoes*

6. Rolling to D.C. for the CBC. As you can see D.C. is calling my name. I'm ignoring the calls until 2012.

Unexpected Expenditures:

d. Everything Labor Day Weekend

e. balling clean the fuck out for no apparent reason (spa days, shopping trips, I started spending money on credit card #6 again). I am not proud of myself AT ALL.

f. ~~Bears Game in NOLA. WE KICKED IT!~~ Actually, believe it or not, this trip was in the budget. I did well (for one weekend out of the month)

Credit Card Update: See e above. Shit's ridiculous. Is anyone praying for me? How did I let this happen? I was so focused at the beginning of the year. I cried real tears as a paid Credit Card #4 off. I'm stuck in this silly holding pattern because I'm refusing to make sacrifices (and blaming it on my high levels of stress). Sounds like an excuse, but it's a good reason to me. I literally spent like $1500 in two weeks (and not on bills). WHO DOES THAT? I need to exercise some self control... but... I really wanted all of that stuff (this is the convo that takes place in my head daily).

**UPDATE** I wrote the sort of "I'm mad at myself update" above when I was mad at myself. As you know I've since paid off credit card #5 and so I'm not REALLY so mad at that shopping spree, but I am concerned with the lack of self control that I exhibited throughout the month.

Credit Score Update: I didn't check it this month, but last month's number is good enough for me. I have to keep finding ways to get it for free. Who works at a bank? Hollatchagurl

Q3 Update: August

2011-10-19T07:00:00.001-05:00

In August I skipped:

3. Shopping. I really wanted some new things, but the end is so near. I decided not to just remix my closet

4. Dominican Republic with the vacation team. I went to Vegas in late July, so doing an early August trip would have been too much.

Unexpected Expenditures were:

c. Everything the weekend before Labor Day (I kicked it!)

Credit Score Update: I switched from checking my Credit Karma score to checking my Experian score. That said my credit score went up 64 points since July. *faints... let me just lay here*

Credit Card Update: I'm paid like a crazy woman on credit card #6. I left #5 maxed out, so I won't pay it off and run it up like I'm prone to do. I closed my "bonus" credit card. Even though I didn't have to pay anything on it, just having it "cost" me a lot in terms of credit score.

Q3 Update: July

2011-10-18T07:00:00.001-05:00

In July I skipped

1. The House picnic
2. A family bbq deep in the 'burbs.

Unexpected expenditures were:
a. A bit of extra spending cash for Vegas

b. Car Towing Fees

Credit Score: Exactly the same. I'll take it.

I See the Light...

2011-10-17T07:00:00.001-05:00

At the end of the tunnel!!! Perhaps you noticed (but probably not), I didn't put up Q3 updates at the beginning of Q4, which was 15 days ago.

The good news is I PAID OFF CREDIT CARD #5 on Friday!!! All sooky sooky now. You know what that means, one more card to pay off to be credit-card-debt-free and folks, I'm going to do it.

The bad news is I had some major fails in Q3. Those fails, however, lit a fire under my butt to remind me to keep my focus on what's important (becoming credit card debt free in 2011). So while I was embarrassed to share the bad news right away (it's coming up in a few posts), I'm happy to admit that I'm not perfect [raise your hand if you didn't already know that], but I did recognize a mistake, was personally accountable for it and I took action to quickly get back on track.

So paying off credit card #6 will mean LOTS of sacrifice, lots of accountability and very few trips or outings (or dinners or happy hours or shopping) in Q4. I'm up for the challenge.

Who's proud of me?

Event Alert: YWCA Tweet-Up Tomorrow

2011-10-11T12:19:00.005-05:00

For every person who attends this Tweet-up, Allstate will donate $100 to the YWCA's domestic violence prevention and support efforts. Talk about a company putting their money where their mouth is.

I'm going to make every effort to stop by.

Thursday, October 13
2:30-3:30 p.m.

Where: Swissôtel Chicago
Montreux Room (2nd floor of the Event Centre)
323 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, IL 60601

Cost: Free
Refreshments: Complimentary refreshments will be provided.
Contact: Please contact Tamara Brown at tamara.brown@ywcachicago.org or 312-762-2708 with any questions.

I'm Up, I'm Down

2011-10-03T07:00:00.003-05:00

Dating is such a roller coaster. I'm trying to figure out how to take you all on this journey with me without telling all of my business.

Ok, here goes. These random thoughts represent different men, different dating seasons (I have to mix it up for anonymity's sake). Welcome to a day (week, month, year) in my mind in my dating life.

Damn, he's fine. Oh shit, he called. We're going out on Tuesday, hooray. I can't believe he bought me cupcakes, he listens, I'm in love. Ok, I'm not really in love, but I like him. Ohmigosh, he likes me too. He's coming over, oh shit, is the bathroom clean? Let me go cook dinner, lest he think I'm a corporate ladder climber who can't cook. Damn, he was supposed to be here an hour ago. I wonder if he'll stand me up. He stood me up. I wonder what happened. *insert reasonable explanation* Ok, let me stop eating this ice cream and turn Love Jones off and go figure out what I'm going to wear on this date. He's a Cleveland Browns fan... maybe I should give this more thought. He might not be the one. OMG, I'm meeting his friends, this requires new shoes. It's been three days, why hasn't he called. What did I say? I wonder if my meatloaf was off that one time. I new I should have used cornflakes instead of break crumbs. I wonder if he saw me on my other date, but he's dating other people too. We talked about this. Oh, there he is ringing my phone now. He's asked about *insert random detail that's important to my life*. He's down. I'm down. He makes me feel so comf-table. Wait, where the hell did he go?

Yeah, this bumpy ride here is a TRIP!!!

Meal for a week

2011-09-30T07:00:00.003-05:00

Ok, so the theme this year has been I am STRESSED OUT. And it's never been as bad as it is right now. I don't know who I am any more.

I eat out more than I cook (or don't eat at all)

I haven't been to the gym regularly since June

I'd rather sleep than hang out with my friends

(Before y'all call the depressions centers of America, LOL!)... I have been open to suggestions. So my big brother [love his life!] suggested that I cook meals for the week on the weekend. At first I was like that sounds like work, but then I remember how much I like eating, so I sat down with my Peapod list and decided this should be easy breezy. So here's the menu.

Sunday - Chicken ~~Stir Fry~~ salad

Monday - ~~Leftover Stir Fry~~ Catered dinner at a work meeting

Tuesday - ~~Chicken Salad (with more leftover chicken from the Stir Fry)~~

Chik-Fil-a

Wednesday - ~~Rigatoni with Italian Sausage~~ Catered dinner at work

Thursday - ~~Sausage and Peppers~~ A TV dinner at work (I put the sausage and peppers & Rigatoni in the freezer for next week because I'm never home when it's time to eat.)

Friday - ~~Leftover Rigatoni~~ I'll be eating whatever's available at Happy Hour or bowling

All week - HOMEMADE CHEDDAR BISCUITS... oh... they make my heart happy.

So on Sunday I was feeling chicken and Italian sausage real tough. Who knew I'd never been home in time to even attempt to eat a home cooked meal.

One week, when I don't have action every night after work, I might do a mess of things with beef stew meat. I'll let you all know how it goes.

Or if I ever decide to do this again, I will take half of the food to work for lunch/dinner.

Any other ideas for themed week meals?

Debt Free Store

2011-09-29T07:00:00.001-05:00

You know how you go into Nordstrom and you see a pair of shoes and it puts the desire in your heart to have those shoes. Like even if you don't get those shoes at that time the seed has been planted and one day you will break down and

1. Buy those shoes
2. Buy shoes like those shoes
3. Buy a jacket at another store the same color of those shoes...

You see where I'm going with this once the desire is there and desire is what fuels action.

I wish that there was a debt-free store. I could go in there and see debt-free and then have the desire in my heart to get it.

Or a good credit score. I imagine good credit (well, I have good credit). I imagine better credit looks like like a shiny pair of news shoes. Just leathery and buttery and soft and fabulous. Oh how I wish I could see better credit in a mall and just fantasize about it the way I fantasize about thigh high boots.

I'll tell you what. One day I will be debt free AND have better credit AND buy any pair of thigh high boots I want. One day all of those things will work together. I'm laying the foundation, but right now I just wish...

To the Jungle Fever Beat

2011-09-28T07:00:00.000-05:00

Pardon the vernacular *clears throat* Ahem...

I'm gone be an auntie*
I'm gone be an auntie
I'm gone be an auntie
ONE MORE TIME!!!

Everybody sing...

*Dear white friends reading this. None of my siblings are actually pregnant, neither are my brothers' girlfriends expecting. In the black community children do not call their friends' parents by their first names as a sign of respect. However, I'm not about to have my homies' kids calling me Ms. [insert my last name].

Therefore when you are close to someone and they have a child, you become an unofficial aunt to that child - also called a play aunt. Therefore I have nieces and nephews all across the country that have no blood relation to my mama. Get it? Got it. Good!

Now... sing it with me now.

I'm gone be an auntie!
I'm gone be an auntie!
I'm gone be an auntie!
ONE MORE TIME!!!!

Do You UPromise?

2011-09-27T06:12:00.002-05:00

I signed up for UPromise eons ago and seriously forget about it until it drops money on my student loans.

How it works:

You give YouPromise all of your credit cards numbers (scary, I know)
You buy stuff and they give you credit for it (it seriously takes like a year to get $25 credit)
When your credit gets to a certain amount of money ($25), then they pay it directly to your student loan

I like it because it's free money and yes, they're tracking my payments and likely selling my shopping patterns to companies that send me catalogs in the mail, but everyone tracks shopping patterns. You don't think that Jewel preferred card is because they want to be nice to you, do you? Unless you walk everywhere and only deal in cash, everything you do is tracked somewhere. Might as well get paid for it.

Do you use UPromise?

Deals & Steals

2011-09-26T07:00:00.002-05:00

Are you signed up for Groupon, Living Social, YouSwoop any of the 50-75% off deals. I'm seriously thinking about unsubscribing. It puts desire in my heart to buy things I wasn't thinking about buying.

For some people, like a couple friend of mine, it's a good way to have cheap date night, but for me it just upsets me when I want a deal, but don't have any cash to buy it.

And honestly, the mani/pedi/wax/massage deals aren't all that. I'd rather pay the big bucks at a salon I know and trust than to test services on new places. I'd say 75% of the time, I'm not pleased with the service when I buy a "deal". That's a problem.

What I may do is set aside $50 to $100 a month for deals and steals, then just go to the web site to see what it is, rather than have it enticing me in my inbox every day.

So what's your philosophy on it? How do you Groupon?

What to wear: To meet his parents

2011-09-23T08:54:00.002-05:00

Friends, Romans, Countrymen: These are hypothetical what to wear situations. I'm tucking your responses away in my date chest to help me get dressed in the [could be very near or could be very far away] future. I MAY or MAY NOT actually be doing half the stuff I'm asking about outfits for. Don't go getting all excited and jinxing my good time (not that I'm dating someone right now and having a really good time... whatever).

Now, back to the question of the day... his parents are in town and/or I'm going with him out of town to meet the 'rents and I have no idea what we're doing/where we're going. (Or maybe his parents live here... I'm giving y'all way too much in this damn blog post.)

So... what do I wear? Go ahead and throw a weekend of fits in there. Is anyone else having as much fun dressing me as I am thinking about the possibilities?

Watch these posts have me in the mall. Womp.

What to wear: To Watch Football

2011-09-22T08:52:00.002-05:00

Um... I LOVE the suggestions from yesterday, so we're going to just keep this party going. And South Loop Social Light is right, I don't REALLY resemble sponge bob square pants. My calves are WAY flyer than his. LOL! No, but seriously, it's fun to take digs are yourself from time to time, lest people think you're hopelessly conceited (when you're really just normal levels of conceited).

Anywho, you [sort of] have my proportions from yesterday and/or you know me in real life. He wants to watch football either at a bar or at my house or at his house.

What do I wear and.... go!!!

What to Wear: To the Movies

2011-09-21T08:50:00.002-05:00

Alright folks, since I kicked the week of talking about dating, I might as well keep the party going. Let's play dress up, I'm 5'5, somewhere b/t 130 and 140 lbs (I don't own a scale and I quit the gym, so I don't know).

I have no tush and minimal assets, but they fit my small frame. Think Barbie's size with Sponge Bob's proportions and a pretty face.

Ok, he wants to go to the movies. It's the fall... what do I wear and... go!!!

Random-est Dating Question

2011-09-20T08:48:00.002-05:00

So... at what point are you no longer "dating" but actually just spending time. Is it after date number 3? I feel kind of weird being like "We're going on our 10th date on XXXday."

Is it just me? Like what phrases am I supposed to use to describe what's going on with someone I'm not exclusively seeing, but who I see all the time?

Help a sister with some key messages please. :-)

People Don't Sleep No Mo

2011-09-16T06:33:00.000-05:00

All they do is this:

This stuff is awesome. Straight up and straight down. None of the jitters that you get from other energy drinks. I highly recommend it when you need a boost.

Just don't take two like I did one day. Your eyebrows will move by themselves. #Truestory.

Happy Weekend for real now. Wish me safe travels and a Bears win.

Jockin' Levi's

2011-09-15T07:00:00.002-05:00

Ok, in all my gushing yesterday, I forgot to tell you all about my favorite fit. The Boyfriend Skinny jean.... let me explain this to you.

It's tight in the thighs, legs, calves and ankles, BUT IT'S LOOSE IN THE STOMACH!

Do you understand what I'm saying. You can be fly and still breathe. I imagine this is especially nice for boxy shapes like man. My hips, back and bum are all the same body part. I tried out for Spongebob Squarepants, they said I wasn't shapely enough. Ok, I'm kidding. I love my shape, but you know a square booty when you see one.

These jeans PUT IN WORK. If you get them go down a size, maybe too depending on the wash.

Ok, I think I'm done jockin' Levi's.

Happy Weekend! (I'm going to New Orleans for the Bears game, so I'm trying to rush the weekend. LOL!)

Mr. Strauss Got it Right

2011-09-14T07:00:00.001-05:00

I did my first research paper on the history of jeans. Oh yes, even as a tot, I was pretty effing fabulous (and smart) - Mr. Levi Strauss got me a glorious A. Not only did I learn about the pioneer in denim and real purpose of rivets, but I gained a newfound appreciation for something we all take for granted.

Fast forward... light years... and here I am still confused about which jeans to buy to make my flat tush look delightful.

Well, 138 years later, Levi's still got it right. I sort of lost my damn mind in the store this weekend, but nothing I bought costs more than $80. For a girl who likes to buy Joe's jeans just because, that's not half bad.

Further, what made me go into the store is the fact that all my jeans have holes in the thighs (yes, this happens to slim chics too. I'm slim, not anorexic, my thighs DO rub together). I digress. ONE pair of jeans I've had since college, no rubbage in the thigh area... they're Levi's.

So they're affordable, high-quality, long-lasting denim, bomb customer service AND they have this new thing called Curve ID.

Slight curve - nosatal (as illustrated by the photo above)
Demi Curve - lil booty
Bold Curve - Junk in the trunk

I swear, there are plenty of options for all booty shapes and sizes. Please check them out on your next denim purchasing excursion. Ask for Beverly if you're on Michigan Ave. She was super helpful.

He Said, She Said

2011-09-13T07:00:00.001-05:00

Ex-bootential (via text): Hey Stranger
T: Hi, who is this?

I knew EXACTLY who he was, but I think my point was made. Keep the silly in high school. If you miss me, want to know how I'm doing, feel like I should call you more, just say that. Have I ever been anything BUT frank in my correspondence. No, not at all.

Also, the "who is this" response was not original. I polled my Twitter followers and that was the best [and only] response.

And he was an ex-bootential before he sent that dumb ass text. This just FURTHER lets me know I made the correct decision to put him in the ex-bootential category.

Happy Tuesday and such.

Tea's Top 10: Reasons I Can't Play Flag Football

2011-09-12T13:04:00.004-05:00

10. No one has ever invited me to be on their team [because...]
9. I throw like a girl
8. I run like a girl
7. When balls come flying towards me I shriek and move out of the way (Side note: you should have seen my gym class volleyball teammates as they gazed in anger as I watch the ball come near me and bounce to the ground.)
6. They practice too much. I damn near have time to do laundry or eat dinner, let alone setting aside an entire weeknight to practice.
5. They have to play when it's cold outside. If it's not 70 or above, why would I be frolicking outside. I mean, is the spa closed?
4. Apparently team members frown upon folks who drink DURING the games. I mean, it's just for fun right, why can't I drink?
3. I think people will judge me if they see that my naturally athletic frame carries no weight on the football field.
2. Some of these games happen while the Bears are playing.
1. I suffer from nosatol (i.e. No ass at all) all the women on flag football teams where spandex-y athletic pants or shorts that put their toned booties on display. I'd look like a male kicker (y'all no kickers don't have no ass)

Random & Quick

2011-09-08T06:06:00.004-05:00

I was at work so early this morning that when I got to Chik-Fil-a it was closed. Man, that's not how you start a day right there.

Further, I decided that I'm going to start using Amy as my name at places like Chik-Fil-a when they require a name. Here's what happens otherwise:

I say, they say

Ti-ee-shah, Kisha
Ti-ee-shah, Tanesha
Ti-ee-shah, Tasha
Ti, Ki
Seven, Stephen
Seven, Devin

P.S. I thought the "name" Seven was so smart because it's a number. And how could I NOT hear them call a number. When I use other names I forget what named I used and miss my food.

And while I'm on a roll, can you all do me a favor. Can you all PLEASE just name your kids some regular stuff and spell it phonetically. You do NOT understand how demoralizing it is to be a grown ass woman who is CONSTANTLY called out of her name from everyone from the Chik-Fil-A staff to coworkers she's been on teams with for MONTHS or worked with for years.

It's really quite ridiculous.

Tea's Tangents

2011-09-01T07:29:00.002-05:00

- How is it credit card companies have laws again usury, but Ticketmaster can charge me damn near 50% of the ticket cost and get away with it. The money we pay for convenience.

- Yesterday I left my house at 6:03 a.m. Decided against taking a cab even though the bus was going to take 12 minutes to get to me. (Note: it usually takes me less than 10 minutes to get to work, so waiting for the bus for 12 minutes is pure BS). Got to the gig at 6:38 a.m. and realized I'd forgotten my key card. I got into the office at 7:21 a.m. Definitely could have used that extra hour of sleep. I'll call this morning full of fail.

- BEYONCE IS PREGNANT. Oh, the joy on her face and in her life. I'm SO happy for her. Career's on point. Marriage is on point and now an addition to the family. YES! YES! YES!!!

- I can't friggin' believe it's September. This whole year is a blur. Please believe and end-of-the-year recap is in the making though. How else would I remember everywhere I've gone. Next up (to my knowledge) is New Orleans for the Bears game. #BEARDOWN vs. #WHODAT with the fam. I.CANNOT.WAIT!!!

- There are a couple of words that have a negative connotation and my simple behind can't figure out why. I'm not being funny, my brain really doesn't comprehend the beef with these words/concepts:

Conceit - means extremely high opinion of one's self. *Katt Williams voice* Why wouldn't you have a high opinion of your own self.

Curt - means saying a lot with fewer words - Why waste words?

But... WHY?

2011-08-31T12:16:00.003-05:00

I have an extra super duper serious question and it's going to sound sort of simple and sort of nagging, but it's bothering the $%#a3 out of me.

Why don't people do what they say they're going to do?

Like what kind of upbringing did you have where you can just say one thing and do something else. And I'm talking about everything from being on time, to saying you'll finish something at work before you go on vacation, but glazing over it to getting a divorce when you said you'd be with someone the rest of your life.

At what point are the words that come out of one's mouth, no longer important.

I just live my life in such a way that I am a woman of my word. I'm extremely punctual, dependable, honest and organized because if I say I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it. Why/How did others not get that memo.

I swear it seems like I'm the only person in the world who cares that what comes out of my mouth matches what I actually do.

I'm not angry, I'm just literally confused. Like I don't understand how others operate in a different way. Can someone help me. And you can't talk about other people til' you're blue in the face, but I'd love to know why YOU aren't punctual, or how YOU leave work at work undone or the tipping point that made YOUR vow to God in marriage invalid.

Not a judging thing, just trying to get understanding.

Telling on Myself

2011-08-26T07:00:00.000-05:00

Ok, I'm telling on myself in real time (no more waiting three months to discuss failures). So you know the CC I have that said if I use it my 4.9APR is going up to 10.0APR. I haven't used it in 3 yrs or so for that very reason. I used to carry a high balance on it, but I've almost paid it off.

Well, I just got that card in the mail. I had this rush deliver it ($20 charge, dumb ass charge). I'm out of cash and I want to hang this weekend. It's Scott's last wknd here. I have some business in the 'burbs... I need to rent a car. My little brother just got a new job and needs some new suits. I swear if it was Wednesday I'd spend cash on all this stuff, but it's Friday. 3 business days before I get paid and I'm SHAWT.

I get paid on Wednesday. I'm paying every dime that I put on that card off on Wednesday. It's on the blog, therefore it is true.

I guess breaking even in the spirit of the last weekend before Labor Day kickin' it and supporting my family is ok, right? This isn't going to set me back too far right?

Man... I hope I don't get the sudden urge to pamper myself or ball out at a local retail location with the cc hot in my pocket.

Pray for me (and check me on Monday AND Wednesday). Happy (stressed-out-about-money-again) weekend!

Yes, Lord Yes.

2011-08-25T10:21:00.003-05:00

I'm actually not talking about Willie from Day 26 going to the gym today (though that does require a shout to the almighty. That bwoy got abs.)

There are songs that I sang in church my entire life. And I understand what they're saying, but sometimes you go through something that makes the song that much more pertinent. Or as you grow the words just hit you a different way.

I don't have the time to elaborate the way I would like to, but this song was on my mind this morning and I mean it as a prayer to God more now than I ever have before. It's meaning is more real to me than it's ever been before. It's just a Baptist (I think) church song, but I'm FEELING it and wanted to share.

I say yes, Lord yes, to your will and to your way.
I say yes, Lord yes, I will trust you and obey.
When your SPIRIT speaks to me, with my whole heart I'll agree
and my answer will be YES, LORD YES!!!

Happy Thursday y'all!

This Weekend

2011-08-24T08:47:00.004-05:00

This weekend is JAM PACKED! I'm taking a look into my future though and like I generally do when there's TOO much to do, I'm probably not going to do any of it. This keeps me from having to choose one friend over another. I also don't have to figure out how to get from point A to point B carless and finally, I won't have to spend any money.

So yeah, I have two must-do things and then for the rest of the weekend, I choose myself (My kitchen, my laundry, my hair, my nails... these things have to be tended to).

Do you all bail out when there's too much to do or am I just nuts?

Saved Myself

2011-08-23T05:02:00.002-05:00

Y'all don't even have to save me from the dumb idea I had yesterday. I checked my 401K and I don't even have enough in there to cover all of my student loans. Man, I played myself with that thought.

So after I pay these credit cards I don't know if I want to buy a condo, parlay payments over to student loans or just start stacking paper. Actually, stacking paper is a must. That's going to happen regardless, so I don't what ELSE I want to do.

The good news is, I don't HAVE to make any decisions. I'm still free as a bird and I'll do what I want. If I feel moved to purchase, I will. If not, not. If I feel moved to eradicate student loans, I will. If not, not. If some new expensive opportunity presents itself, I'll consider it. *sings* FREEDOM, OH FREEDOM. LOL!

Save Me...

2011-08-22T07:00:00.000-05:00

Enough about LinkedIn already. Let's get back to talking about money. LOL!

Please save me from the crazy thoughts I have. As I pay credit card debt down (*Tony Toni Tone voice* it feels good, yeeeeeeah), I had the bright idea to pay my student loans off. The "bright" idea is to raid my 401K, pay the stupid penalty and be completely debt free.

What good is money collecting interest if I have debt racking up higher interest. I KNOW I'm not supposed to touch my 401K though. I have to think about my retirement (40-50 years from now and such).

BUT if I have no debt, doesn't that open up my options? I already don't own anything. How free would I be if I didn't OWN or OWE anything. Real talk, I could just move overseas.

I don't know y'all, having done ZERO research and not yet consulting my financial advisor, it seems like a good idea. What say ye?

Rules of the Road

2011-08-18T07:00:00.001-05:00

Ok, I'm on Linked In. I'm getting the hang of it, but in general, I have no idea what I'm doing on there. I'm such a private person, now everyone in the world knows where I work and what I do. Thank GOODNESS I don't have to write what year I graduated college on that thing. I hate people knowing my age. Folks are so judgmental based on factors (like age) that mean nothing about nothing.

Anywho is Linked In like Facebook where you add everybody and their mama that you know?

Is it like Twitter where you add people you don't know because they're cool?

I see people using Tweetdeck to update their "LinkedIn" statuses. Please tell me that that's frowned upon in this establishment. LinkedIn is not Twitter. I don't want to know what you had for lunch on there
I just found out that LinkedIn automatically links your Twitter account if you include a Twitter account. I had to go to the settings to turn that off. These are two different media, it makes NO sense to link them.
What do people DO on Linked In. I mean when I get done building my network, I'm not about to be stalking people's lives on there. I guess I could set up lunches and brunches with people who's work ethic I respect, but I don't have time for lunches and brunches with friends, family and current coworkers. How am I going to get my network of 1000+ on the calendar. *scratches head*

Anywho, what other tips do you have for me using Linked In. There has to be something to it. SO many people are on it.

Giving Linked In a Whirl

2011-08-16T07:00:00.001-05:00

I've been anti-Linked In for a long time. So much so that I recently closed my account. My friends told me about cool professional social media groups on there though and I've decided to give it another try. Here are 10 things I learned after re-joining Linked In.

10. I know a lot of people

9. I've met a lot of people that I actually don't know at all

8. I have privacy issues. I lowkey don't want everyone on Linked In to know what my resume says. Lowkey.

7. People are #OnToTheNextOne quick as hell. Almost all of the people I look up to add no longer work at the company they did when I met them.

6. Linked In is like the new millenium rolodex. If someone would have just explained it to me like that I would have got on sooner. Yah well.

5. I'm much more comfortable adding my friend's parents to Linked In than I am accepting their requests on Facebook.

4. Most of my friend's have jobs. :-)

3. I guess some people have their setting such that you can't send them a connection. I mean, you can't search for me on Facebook and my Twitter is locked, but having Linked In locked down makes NO sense to me...

2. People with their own companies need to make up their mind about what the name of that company should be... and stick with it.

1. I am not the only person who's not on Linked In. Or should I say who used to not be on Linked In. I tried to find a bunch of contacts and came up shawt!

To Link In or Not to Link In

2011-08-15T07:00:00.001-05:00

Apparently Linked In is worth billions of dollars. When I heard this news I rolled my eyes a bit. Really, son? Really?

So question of the day are you on Linked In? Why or Why not?

Credit Score Confusion

2011-08-12T07:00:00.006-05:00

Disappointment.

Shock.

Bewilderment.

Pure Bliss.

These are all the emotions checking my credit score have had on me in one day. So I've been reporting that my credit score is the same, etc, etc. Well... I've been checking in on CreditKarma.com. Even with all the research I've done and all that I know about credit scores, I still misunderstood their set-up. Credit Karma has their own credit scoring system. I thought that it was an average of Experian, Equifax and Transunion. It's not.

So as I'm throwing CHUNKS of money at my credit cards and the score's not moving, something told me to check freecreditreport.com. I go there, sign up for the free trial that allows me to see my score (I've already canceled it. You're not getting $14.95 a month from me buddy.) My ACTUAL score from Experian is 64 points higher than the Credit Karma score.

Credit Karma says my credit is "fair".

Experian says my credit is "excellent".

The thing is I've never heard of a bank or mortgage lender checking a "Credit Karma" score.

Ok, I'm rambling. Here's the point: ALL OF MY HARD WORK IS NOT IN VAIN!!!! My credit score is Poppin'!!! I'm officially 21 points away from my goal credit score. I might just go buy a house.

LOL! Happy Weekend y'all!

Bittersweet Money Decision

2011-08-11T06:43:00.000-05:00

So, I have a credit card that my mom still pays for, we'll call it my "bonus" credit card. Yes, I know I'm grown, but she gave it to me as a teenager and I've just never closed it. I use it from time to time to treat myself to something nice. (Think $100 once a quarter). I also use it for cash advances when I have emergencies (like getting my cousin's car towed from in front of my house).

I pay the cash advances back, but when I charge things I let my mom pick up the bill.

I was checking my credit and found out that my "bonus" credit card carries a balance that's higher than all my other credit cards. What I'm not going to do is call my mom and tell her she needs to refocus her energy to paying that card down, so my credit can improve.

And while I like the idea of free treats, the card is making it look like I have more debt than I actually do. So after a couple of months of consideration, I decided to close the card. Doing so will improve both my actual outstanding debt AND my debt to available credit ratio. (If a card is maxed out, it's available balance isn't really helping my debt to to available credit ratio.)

I closed it this morning [read: the day I wrote this post] and I'm going to wait about 30 days to see how this has improved my credit score. I am simultaneously paying down big balances on the cards that "I" actually ran up. (No dis mom, no dis.)

I'm excited that I made a sound decision in my financial journey and I'm sad that no one's going to just buy me shoes for no reason anymore.

Have you had to make any money decisions lately that suck? Please tell me it's not just me.

In Real Life

2011-08-10T07:00:00.000-05:00

This conversation happened in real life (over the phone).

T: I miss you
Homie: Man, I miss you too
T: We gotta get together soon, but my schedule is bananas
Homie: Your schedule? My schedule is just...
T: We might as well not even try to get together. I feel like we'll just see each other in passing randomly and that'll be enough
Homie: Yup

For real, this really just happened. I'm glad people I love know I love them. 'Cause if love was based on face time...

It will get better soon (this scheduling situation). I swear.

Magnum

2011-08-08T07:00:00.002-05:00

1. Condoms - US
2. Ice Cream - Europe
3. Liquor/Energy Drink - Jamaica (Think 4Loko that taste like Robitussin)

In the wonderful world of branding how did this happen. How do three things that have nothing to do with each other have the same exact name.

If I had more time, I'd study the brand history, philosophy and mission of each to determine if the names have more to do with each other than we think.

Howsoever, I only have the 2 minutes that it took me to write this post, so no more research will be done.

Can you think of other things are different or even opposite, but have the same brand name?

Sugar Daddies and Such

2011-08-04T07:00:00.003-05:00

Do I look like I like old balls? Does single = desperate? Do I have a sign on my left hand (where a wedding ring WOULD be) that says "insert bullshit here".

This old man at a bbq I was at said... well, the convo went like this

Old man: Are you single?
T: Yes
OM: Ok, let me help you out. You can find a man at this bbq.

*Note, that he didn't ask if I was dating. If I was interested in dating. If I was gay. If I was happily single. He just decided that because I'm breathing and single that my life sucks. It doesn't. I had actually just left a date to come to the family bbq.

T: I don't know that these men are in my range
OM: What's your range
T: 30 to 40
OM: Oh, you just need a sugar daddy
T: No thank you
OM: So you're bougie?
T: No.
OM: but these man can buy you whatever you want.
T: but I can buy myself whatever I want

*insert middle aged single broad*

MASB: GURL! Let me just help you out a bit. I see you're young and I just want to tell you like I wish someone had told me. It's not about what you can afford for yourself, it's about what you can GET from these men. You'll see. As you get older, your priorities will change.

T: O_O *thinking* but I'm not a desperate old biddy yet, so I'ma need everyone 35 and older (and unhappy) to back up off of me.

The convo ended there because I switched to Twitter and started going off about the fuckery that I was hearing. THEN this middle aged single broad's damn-near grown child walked up and it all made more sense to me. If I needed help with 8th grade graduation fees or parochial school tuition, maybe I'd be ok with saggy balls too.

Until that's my issue, I prefer my balls taut. Tell a friend.

Credit Scores Suck

2011-08-02T20:28:00.002-05:00

So I've been using some credit score simulators and if I pay half of my credit card debt or ALL of my credit card debt, my score will likely only go up 8-10 points. O_O

8 to 10 points chief. I've been living like a pauper and stressing myself out for 8 to 10 points. What a waste.

Nah, nah, the truth is I don't give three damns if the score goes up or not. I just don't like credit card debt and it has to go whether it improves my score or not.

Equifax and 'nem have their foot on my damn neck though. Haters.

I need to do like these college hoes and get a sugar daddy to handle my student loans. This is a bad joke. I'm sorry. Ok, not really.

Ooh, remind me to tell y'all about a sugar daddy conversation that happened at a family bbq. A mess. A mess. A mess.

Chik-Fil-A Holla!

2011-08-01T07:14:00.003-05:00

Ok, I'm not quitting the blog, but it's going to be random. When I feel something, I'll share. When I'm not feeling anything, it'll be quiet over here.

Today, I woke up with a taste for fried chicken. Popeyes, Harold's, whatever. I woke up at the butt crack of dawn this morning. I was like where can a sister get chicken at the butt crack of dawn: CHIK-FIL-A.

So I go in there at like 6:30a.m. and wouldn't you know it's free chicken biscuit day. Did God smile on my Monday or WHAT?!?!?

So I'm sharing that gem with you. Please go get your free chicken biscuit on and have a FAB Monday!

It's Closing Time...

2011-07-30T15:18:00.003-05:00

Maybe.

I'm thinking about quitting the blog. I have literally run out of things to say. And more than that I have run out of time to find to make up things to say.

Perhaps it's just this rough stretch of insanely busy months I've been having, but the blog has gone form a place to get excited and have discourse to another thing on my perpetually long to-do list.

For other bloggers out there that work at 9-5. How/when do you find the time to blog? Any suggestions for me before I hang it up?

How to Lose Weight in 48 hours:

2011-07-27T12:22:00.001-05:00

Get sick.

UGH!!!!

I hate being sick. Pray for me, y'all.

Vegas Survival Guide

2011-07-25T10:56:00.002-05:00

Do.

10. Ask your concierge to put you on the guest list for the club. Makes like so much easier

9. Pack flip flops and bring a purse big enough to carry them.

8. Go to Denny's, IHOP a buffet or something. The very best time we had was watching (and participating) in ratchetry after a fun night.

7. Plank. There are so many great places to do it at

6. Get a cabana at your hotel's pool. It's SO much better than just chillin' and surprisingly affordable.

5. Sleep a lot. Forget what you heard, vacations are supposed to be relaxing. I partied all night, slept all day. AND because I was with my mom (an early riser) everytime I woke up there was breakfast in the room for me already. #WINNING!!!

4. Entertain foolishness. We ended up stepping (Chicago stepping) with these extra random dudes on the patio of Caesar's Palace (by Serendipity 3) at God knows what time at night. If we had ignored their "hey girls" we wouldn't have met such nice (and hilarious) people from the crib.

3. Go to Serendipity 3, get a Frrozen hot chocolate, watch your life change. LOL!

2. Give Vegas another chance. We stayed at the Vdara, partied at the Aria and people watched at the Cosmopolitan. 5 years ago I would have said Vegas was extra cheesy, but staying on the "new" side of the strip, I feel like it's more upscale. I may be plannin another trip there soon.

Don't

1. Forget your sunblock. It's BLAZING hot in the summertime. I was outside baking like a damn peanut butter cookie. I'd be peeling if it weren't for that healthy application of SPF 55.

Anyway, these are the Vegas cliff notes. So much more to tell you all. Lots of which, you'll have to hear from me in person. :-)

Vacation Week

2011-07-18T06:43:00.001-05:00

Hey folks,

I didn't have time to write any blog posts for the week and I'm going to Vegas on Wednesday, so I'm taking a physical and a virtual break. I hope to have some fun posts up for you next week, BUT... it might be two weeks depending on my schedule.

Don't quit me and have a great week!

Hit Dem 40s

2011-07-15T10:35:00.001-05:00

I put this on Twitter, but it bears repeating. You know how when people go to jail they say:

"I only serve two days. The day I go in and the day I go out."

Well, I feel like there are only two days every month. The day I get paid and the day I get paid. Today is one of those days. **hits dem 40s**

LMAO! Happy Weekend!

Inspiration

2011-07-14T07:00:00.000-05:00

Got this note from my gym today [read: the day I wrote this post]

T,

Your commitment toward your health makes us proud. You are inspiring others.

Healthy Lifestyle Tip: Peer Pressure Can Keep You Healthy
A new study has found that healthy friends could be the best way to keep fit. A study of 3,610 Australian women, published in the International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity, found that physical activity and healthy eating behavior were both strongly affected by social contacts. In other words, if your friends are doing it, you are more likely to be doing it.

Researchers from Deakin University surveyed women between the ages of 18 and 46 for the study. They said the importance of social environmental influences on health-promoting behaviors such as exercise and healthy eating has been increasingly recognized. Their new study is one of the first to illustrate the link between social support and a health-focused lifestyle.

Those women who moved in healthier circles were in turn more likely to eat well and get more exercise. The researchers suggest that healthy behavior may be contagious.
Source: sciencedaily.com

So hit the gym today. Just by doing so, you're inspiring others. I love that!

A Bedtime Story

2011-07-13T07:00:00.001-05:00

Once upon a time a very tired diva missed her flight and encountered a gate agent who wasn't particularly helpful in getting her on the next available flight. Given the amount of money that said diva spends on flights and the amount of time she's wasted in airports (as of late) due to unhelpful gate agents the diva had what mental health hospitals would describe as just a touch, just a touch... of a nervous breakdown at the airport ticket counter.

**omits details**

After the police left and the diva got on the flight she'd originally requested to be on, the diva decided she would never fly that unhelpful airline (who unnecessarily called the police on her) ever again. The diva "collected herself" got a refund of the money that unhelpful gate agent "MISTAKENLY" charged her and donated ALL of her frequent flyer miles from said airline to CARE an organization committed to rebuilding Haiti.

Haiti got rebuilt, the diva prospered, the airline went bankrupt and she lived fabulously ever after.

The end.

Taxes & Such

2011-07-12T07:00:00.000-05:00

I've been doing taxes since I was 15 and except for one random year, I've ALWAYS gotten a return. It's generally a fat return too. I'm afraid that's not going to happen this year.

What I need to know from you - my smart, well-accomplished, in-the-know blog readers - is what steps can I take now to make sure I don't owe the government big bucks come April 15th, 2011. (Really it's more like February 3rd for me because I file electronically and I've never waited until the deadline because there's usually money coming back to me).

So what are your tax tips? Or what resources do you suggest I read?

My Dirty Little Secret

2011-07-11T07:00:00.001-05:00

I have a dirty little money secret and it's filthy y'all. I overdraft my bank account... regularly. *gasp*

I do it almost once a quarter. I generally just call and ask them to put it back as a courtesy, but now you can only do that twice in a 12 month timeframe and I just barely made it 11 months. Oh, the horror, the absolute shame. I make more money than I've ever made before and still, I trick it off.

Not on shoes, clothes, caking, trips, bottles, waxes, mani/pedis or high-end hair color or other acceptable trick-offery. No... on bank fees. I have no excuse. I'm just ashamed.

Nevermind that $34 is usually like 2000% of what I've overdrawn.

I'm not even going to affirm that I will definitely do better. My don't-give-a-damnness won't let me care THAT much. I did, however, add bank alerts on my phone, so hopefully this will be the last time. I'm writing it down (on the blog), so I can continue to be open and honest about money and things of that nature.

No use in bullshiiting myself.

Q2 2011: Stay Within Your Means Lesson

2011-07-08T07:00:00.000-05:00

So when someone says live within your means I think about fixed costs: cars, house, bills, etc. I shouldn't be spending 40-50% of my salary on rent/mortgage. I've got that under control in my head and in my actual spending.

However, this year, I've been trying to pay back debt outside of my means. I told you all in this post that I was willing to not shop in order to pay down debt.

I've learned that my teaching/learning style is punishment rather than reward. I also told you that I received a financial blessing in June. My first thought was to put it ALL directly towards my credit card. And while that might be one responsible way to do it, it's not the only way. How content can I really be if I continue to deprive myself to pay for past debt/mistakes?

What's the big deal if I pay down my credit card debt on September 1st vs. September 30th (these are fake dates), if I've sacrificed every meal, frilly summer dress and vacation with friends to meet the goal.

So my "means" as they stand now SHOULD afford me a shopping allowance, a trip allowance, an eat-lunch-outside-of-the-office allowance. I already live in a studio box to continue spending below my means. I decided [the day I wrote this post] that I'm not going to keep cutting back to reach some arbitrary goal in my head. No ma'ams and sirs. I'm going to celebrate life and my accomplishments and my progress.

I'm learning that life is about progress, not perfection and I'll see those zero balances soon enough. Meet me at the mall. I'm about to do WONDERS for the economy!